American Classic Stakes Everything on $200 Million Rebranding
"The pancake is dead."
So said Chief Marketing Officer Don "Short Stack" Williams at the recent International House of Pancakes Corporate Rebranding Kick-off Meeting. "The future is bacon.
"And not just bacon," Willians continued as he addressed managers, directors and executives from all regions of the United States and the eleven other countries in which the venerable brand has operated for more than seventy years. "It's all things pork. Ribs. Sausage. Ham. Spareribs. Pork Rinds. Let's face it - the world's favorite meat goes oink!"
"Bacon is the new black - we all know that. And we aim to make bacon ours. We will own bacon! When people think bacon, they will think our new restaurants. When they think our new restaurants, they will think bacon. Like Kleenex claimed tissues - like Coke claimed sweetened carbonated liquids - like Depends claimed adult diapers - WE CLAIM BACON! But - we're not making the same mistake we made last time.
"The name of our restaurants - International House of Pancakes - means just one thing. People think pancakes when they think us. They don't know we serve french fries, too. They don't know we have salads and fruit cups. It's just one thing. They don't associate us with anything other than pancakes, right? Well - even though Bacon is our lead product, this time around we're not going to limit our brand. We want to make sure they know that we're ham and sausage and even canadian bacon. We're international, right? Pork fried rice. Bacon bits. You name it. That's us.
"We have studies the problem, and we have learned our lesson. We are breaking completely from the past - pancakes are gone, forgotten. We're making sure that there is no confusion - no old associations. No narrow minded branding. Bacon isn't all we're claiming. We're claiming pork. All of it. If it comes from a pig, it's going to be ours. We are spending more than $200 million do it right. New logos, new names, new menu images. Television, radio, even the internet. We will have a Facebook page and a Twitter Account. We're creating a new mascot - he'll be at ball games and travel the country visiting schools and soccer fields in every town, village and RFD in this great land.
"Welcome, my friends - to the future. Welcome to the International House of Pork!"
